Answering The Call #15: Today and Tomorrow
The following was written as a homework assignment in my Practical Ministry course, with an eye towards preaching someday in a wedding service.
This year I celebrated my Silver Wedding Anniversary. Marie and I were married in a big Episcopal Church in 1984, only 3 years after the fairytale wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana captivated the English-speaking world.
It was also only 5 years after the publication of a new Book of Common Prayer for the Episcopal Church in America. As long-time church musicians, we planned our service to carefully follow the newly published standard. One of the things I notice was that the language of the vows had changed:
.....“Adam, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live
.....together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her,
.....comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health;
.....and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you
.....both shall live?”
The man’s vows were identical, and both are true to the original Book of Common Prayer, published in 1662. But the classical version, the one you see in most movies, is different:
.....“Eve, wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded husband, to live together after
.....God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him,
.....love, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health ; and, forsaking all others,
.....keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
About the time my grandfather was ordained more than 100 years ago, the woman’s vows were changed to be the same as the man’s vows, and the ancient language of “thee’s” and “thou’s” and “shalt’s” and “wilt’s” was updated to modern language. But a bigger change was that women were no longer expected to promise obedience and service, an expectation never placed on men. I think it was a good thing to have the same expectation of both parties.
When you watch a wedding in the movies, the man and the woman both respond “I do”. But the classic answer is “I will”. This is a difference of only one word, and at first appears to be minor. But “I do” is promise for today: “Do you take her TODAY?” “Do you take him TODAY?” Today’s promise is not binding TOMORROW.
As Marie and I were planning our wedding, I was struck by this difference. And, lest you think this is just Stevene going down some rabbit trail (again), I’d like to look at a wonderful example of how God looks at the difference between Today and Tomorrow. In the book of Exodus, chapter 3 and verse 14,
.....“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM’; AND He said, ‘Thus you shall say to the
.....sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
The phrase God used here doesn’t translate well into English. We have past tense, present tense, and future tense. The tense of “I AM” makes it as easily understood as past tense, present tense, or future tense. “I was” or “I am” or “I will be”, or even “I will continue to be”. Further, “I AM WHO I AM” conveys a sense of “I will be who I will be” or “I will continue to be who I will continue to be” or even “I will always be who I am”.
What does this tense have to do with you, Adam and Eve? I don’t want your marriage to be tense, but I do want you to always be who you are. And your promise today, as you say “I will”, will mean “I will always promise what I promise” or “I promise to always love, honor and cherish you as I do today.”
What is love? In Mark 12:30 Jesus instructs us to
.....“Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.”
This is the model Jesus gave us.
Adam,
.....love Eve your wife with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.
Eve,
.....love Adam your husband with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.
Okay, but what is love? Again to scripture:
.....“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
.....Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and
.....it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice
.....but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith,
.....is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Cor 13:4-7).
I want to give you some homework. Consider it a “term paper” that you will work on “as long as you both shall live.” God has set the standard, as I just read. In his first epistle John told us “God is Love”. In Genesis we are said to be made in God’s image, that is, we are made in the image of love. So here’s your homework:
Repeat after me:
.....“I am patient and kind. I am not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
.....I do not demand my own way. I am not irritable, and I keep no record of
.....when I have been wronged. I am never glad about injustice but
.....rejoice whenever the truth wins out. I never gives up, never lose faith,
.....am always hopeful, and endure through every circumstance.”
Finally, I want to look at what Paul wrote to the Ephesians:. For you, Elissa, he wrote,
.....“You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.
.....For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church;
.....he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ,
.....so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:22-24).”
That’s a tough standard to live up to. But before you get too bothered by this, consider what he wrote for Adam:
.....“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--
.....a love marked by giving, not getting (MSG).”
Or, in the same way that today’s wedding vows are the same for the woman as they are for the man, let’s keep Ephesians 5:21 in mind. In the translation I grew up with, the Revised Standard Version, it says,
.....“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (RSV).”
But a more modern version says it a little differently:
.....“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another (MSG).
Again, these are high standards, and the world around us today makes little effort to honor them. But we who follow Jesus Christ as our Risen Lord and Savior, who seek in all things to become more like Him every day, we hold these standards in high esteem. And we pray regularly for His help in trying to live up to them. I know that I am not able, on my own, to do these things. But
.....“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13 NASB)”
I'll pray for you, and will you please pray for me? Pray that we who are married will submit to our spouses, will love, comfort, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, will be faithful to them as long as we both shall live, in reverence for Christ, today AND tomorrow, as we seek to Answer The Call. In Jesus’ Name!
Thanks for the time you took to read this!
Stevene
This year I celebrated my Silver Wedding Anniversary. Marie and I were married in a big Episcopal Church in 1984, only 3 years after the fairytale wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana captivated the English-speaking world.
It was also only 5 years after the publication of a new Book of Common Prayer for the Episcopal Church in America. As long-time church musicians, we planned our service to carefully follow the newly published standard. One of the things I notice was that the language of the vows had changed:
.....“Adam, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live
.....together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her,
.....comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health;
.....and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you
.....both shall live?”
The man’s vows were identical, and both are true to the original Book of Common Prayer, published in 1662. But the classical version, the one you see in most movies, is different:
.....“Eve, wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded husband, to live together after
.....God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him,
.....love, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health ; and, forsaking all others,
.....keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
About the time my grandfather was ordained more than 100 years ago, the woman’s vows were changed to be the same as the man’s vows, and the ancient language of “thee’s” and “thou’s” and “shalt’s” and “wilt’s” was updated to modern language. But a bigger change was that women were no longer expected to promise obedience and service, an expectation never placed on men. I think it was a good thing to have the same expectation of both parties.
When you watch a wedding in the movies, the man and the woman both respond “I do”. But the classic answer is “I will”. This is a difference of only one word, and at first appears to be minor. But “I do” is promise for today: “Do you take her TODAY?” “Do you take him TODAY?” Today’s promise is not binding TOMORROW.
As Marie and I were planning our wedding, I was struck by this difference. And, lest you think this is just Stevene going down some rabbit trail (again), I’d like to look at a wonderful example of how God looks at the difference between Today and Tomorrow. In the book of Exodus, chapter 3 and verse 14,
.....“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM’; AND He said, ‘Thus you shall say to the
.....sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”
The phrase God used here doesn’t translate well into English. We have past tense, present tense, and future tense. The tense of “I AM” makes it as easily understood as past tense, present tense, or future tense. “I was” or “I am” or “I will be”, or even “I will continue to be”. Further, “I AM WHO I AM” conveys a sense of “I will be who I will be” or “I will continue to be who I will continue to be” or even “I will always be who I am”.
What does this tense have to do with you, Adam and Eve? I don’t want your marriage to be tense, but I do want you to always be who you are. And your promise today, as you say “I will”, will mean “I will always promise what I promise” or “I promise to always love, honor and cherish you as I do today.”
What is love? In Mark 12:30 Jesus instructs us to
.....“Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.”
This is the model Jesus gave us.
Adam,
.....love Eve your wife with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.
Eve,
.....love Adam your husband with all your heart and with all your soul, and
.....with all your mind and with all your strength.
Okay, but what is love? Again to scripture:
.....“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
.....Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and
.....it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice
.....but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith,
.....is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Cor 13:4-7).
I want to give you some homework. Consider it a “term paper” that you will work on “as long as you both shall live.” God has set the standard, as I just read. In his first epistle John told us “God is Love”. In Genesis we are said to be made in God’s image, that is, we are made in the image of love. So here’s your homework:
Repeat after me:
.....“I am patient and kind. I am not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
.....I do not demand my own way. I am not irritable, and I keep no record of
.....when I have been wronged. I am never glad about injustice but
.....rejoice whenever the truth wins out. I never gives up, never lose faith,
.....am always hopeful, and endure through every circumstance.”
Finally, I want to look at what Paul wrote to the Ephesians:. For you, Elissa, he wrote,
.....“You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord.
.....For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church;
.....he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ,
.....so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:22-24).”
That’s a tough standard to live up to. But before you get too bothered by this, consider what he wrote for Adam:
.....“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--
.....a love marked by giving, not getting (MSG).”
Or, in the same way that today’s wedding vows are the same for the woman as they are for the man, let’s keep Ephesians 5:21 in mind. In the translation I grew up with, the Revised Standard Version, it says,
.....“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (RSV).”
But a more modern version says it a little differently:
.....“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another (MSG).
Again, these are high standards, and the world around us today makes little effort to honor them. But we who follow Jesus Christ as our Risen Lord and Savior, who seek in all things to become more like Him every day, we hold these standards in high esteem. And we pray regularly for His help in trying to live up to them. I know that I am not able, on my own, to do these things. But
.....“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13 NASB)”
I'll pray for you, and will you please pray for me? Pray that we who are married will submit to our spouses, will love, comfort, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, will be faithful to them as long as we both shall live, in reverence for Christ, today AND tomorrow, as we seek to Answer The Call. In Jesus’ Name!
Thanks for the time you took to read this!
Stevene
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